Railay Beach, Thailand

I have spent the past week on the most beautiful piece of land in the world. I'm talking about the kind of beautiful that makes you not want to go underwater because you are afraid when you surface you'll find yourself in the Platte. The type of beautiful beach and environment that finds you straining your eyes not to blink. I went there with Allison our friend who just got over here about a month ago we were planning on going to a few islands but could not leave this little piece of Heaven. So naturally I thought a lot about God, life, future, past, love, hate, and football on this trip!
There are a lot of metaphors and analogies for the beach and spirituality...I like them all. But more then that the one quote that kept coming to my mind had nothing to do with a beach it was this: "If you want to hear God laugh tell him your plans". For some of you that may strike a cord or maybe you can even relate, to others I'm another babbling idiot...so this next message is for "the others": YOU ARE RIGHT! :)
Being in Thailand it's hard not to get sucked into the meditation, body cleansing, yogic, spiritual hustle and bustle, and i'm not saying that's a bad thing. Unfortunately it's a little hippie for me but I must say I did do a little Michauditation while I was at the beach...but better then that I got a response. Michauditation has a little in common with meditation but basically it is just listening to the waves...and that's it. Just listen to the waves. But while I was doing this listening a great contradiction came about:
"There is such a contrast in the places where I've seen God on my travels. In school aged children playing in the streets of Cambodia and begging on their spare time, to this incredible scenery that only God Himself, ever the Artist, could have created." (from my journal) And of course looking at this contrast seeing God in two different ways also got my curiosity going: "I've never experienced beauty such as this. But am I truly closer to God now because I have experienced this? I don't feel any closer. Is it because there are people back home that have shown me their love in so many ways. Or could it possibly be all of the European women with impossibly small swimsuits hugging them very tightly?" But what is the real point? I see God, I see him in every song, smile, frown, word, syllable, embrace. But I don't feel any closer...is the sunrise in Nebraska that much worse than in Railay...can a sunset get you closer to God? Does a child have to suffer for you to find God?
"I know when I go back they will ask me what I did, what I saw, what did I find? But in truth it's the experience. It is the willingness to go and the courage to come back [from paradise]. It is the realization that big dreams are small and fleeting thoughts can change a persons life. I can tell them about the people I saw, the disappointingly few people I helped, I can attempt to describe to you the blue green waters in contrast to the luscious jungle and mountains that shoot out of it. I'm sure I'll have a funny story or two to tell but NONE of it justifies the experience. And that's what I have realized...it's the experience that matters. The old Nike slogan comes to mind "Just Do It" so that's my advice to any of you young and old that are on the fringe of the unknown; Just Do It and have faith in yourself that even in the dark we can land on our feet!
I know you want to hear more about my trip what I did and what I found...but in reality I spent a lot of the time in self reflection and making new friends. In true Michaud fashion after a few hours of internal deep thoughts and writing and a few seconds after attempting to befriend a beautiful Italian woman (who coincidentally was there with her new husband) I ran down to the water slipped, stubbed my toe and had to chuckle at how unfortunate it is that I'm so much like my dad. Who by the way slipped running down to a lake and dove into the sand completely missing the water...there are many witnesses but for the majority of you that either know me or my family I don't think it's that much of a stretch.
I keep waiting for this defining moment in my life...some great sign that gives me freedom or noticeable change from "everybody else". Some mood that creates harmony around me. Nursing my sore toe I realize I've been waiting for that sign for a long time. It's as if I expect God to prove Himself to me (yes I know the story in the Bible that says it's not right to ask God to do that). It's as if I renounced my Lincoln life and due to this I deserve some sort of enlightenment...I mean come on God look what I had going for me and I left it all to come help You (because He obviously needed it here) and look at all the good I'm doing...i'm not asking for payment but how about a little enlightenment...basically I had the brass to say to God "Throw me a frickin bone here will ya?"
So as I said; on the beach talking with the waves asking myself why we see God in sunsets? Is it the reflection in the water the symbolism of a ray of light in a vast omniscient field. Is it because sunsets produce colors that are impossible to duplicate? Colors that can only be seen in nature. Maybe it's the clouds that sneak in, in an otherwise clear sky. Adding the finishing touches to a landscape that can only be created by the universes greatest Artist. The old adage comes about "If you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans". We see God, we feel God, and in all of the New Age books I read and the horrific yoga translations I've tried to comprehend I've decided that contorting myself in an uncomfortable position, traveling to Heaven on earth, or watching kids less fortunate find joy in themselves we feel and see Him in accordance to how hard we look for Him. And here's a tip: You don't have to look that hard!!
Okay enough of this I know a lot of you that read this cringed when I even mentioned God so let's get to the all Powerful the all Knowing the Universal Connector: Football! That's right I was able to watch the University of South Carolina Vs. Vandy game! And it was a great game!! As Allison and I were getting ready to go out I flipped through the channels and saw that we got ESPN in this remote place of the world, not only that but a football game was on. We promptly got up bought some beers and spent a night in Heaven on earth, in our hotel room watching football. I think I was a little more joyous then her.
However besides that our nights were filled with making friends, talking music, smoking hookahs, and trying to decipher which Thai was a guy and which was a girl. We had a blast but unfortunately Allison got really sick and we barely made it home. Not only due to her health but our bus broke down in the process.

During one of our late night conversations I had a reflection that filled me with oddity: I have talked politics with Israelis, I've talked about hunger and poverty with Thais, honor killings with a Pakistani, complete suppression with a Burmese, the "untouchables" and the caste system with an ex-monk, drug legalization with a girl from the Netherlands, I've debated basic Human Rights with international graduate and doctoral students, empathised with New York teachers about special needs education, I learned about underground movements against oppressive governments from those that are leading the movements. Not only this but I've played ate and petted a squirrel, ate with a chicken and rooster as I was probably consuming their cousin, fed a baby elephant, and had lunch with a monkey trying to figure out the wonders of a salt shaker.

I guess what this comes down to i have realized that it's not about articulation, the moments you can share with others so they might have lived it...it's the experience. It's looking for God and smiling as you see Him right in front of you. It's about not having excuses, not having consuming worries, and always having an alibi! It's about boat drinks not what "they" think.
Most of all it is the realization that any question you have ever asked always has one momentous answer: Love.

I hear the Huskers are looking a little sluggish but better then last year, that the political debate is disturbing as ever, and hurricanes are threatening all of us again. Well I suppose my prayers go out to all of them/us.

Brooke and I are planning on having some sort of fundraiser during one of the football games coming up. Goodwill is trying to produce pamphlets that they can give to their students about sexual rights, lawyers, and ways to get out of the life they have found themselves in or the life they have recently left. Basically my parents will be having a tailgate and I as well as them would appreciate you stopping by donating 5, 10, 20 bucks whatever you can afford. I really don't have a whole lot to offer but a few beers. However, I'll get you more of the information as it solidifies. Goodwill needs to generate $30,000 for this project and I've taken the challenge on and would like to see my friends and family help. I will attempt to send something more formal soon...but it would mean a lot to me and to those at Goodwill if you would donate.

Hope this gave you all something to do while at work!

Here's to you,
-Michaud