Monday, July 28, 2008
There will be more on this...
It's odd: ghosts from the past, skeleton's in the closet...how past experiences are intertwined with death; after all isn't it past experiences that show us how to live?
Monday, July 21, 2008
Another John Allen Qutoe
Money does grow on trees: It is planted by ambition, watered with the sweat of your brow, nurtured through determination and hardwork, and with a little luck it might sprout just enough to get you through life. Trouble is not too many people are willing to go through the planting process, they just want the harvest. However it's the process, not the spoils that are the real rewards.
I thought this was appropriate since I had my wallet stolen.
I thought this was appropriate since I had my wallet stolen.
Adam's Final Thoughts:
This is a new segment and one which I hope you will find as heartfelt as I have:
"The only certainty is Death, and the only surprise is Life. Everything else falls in-between and it's up to you to decide weather you want to focus on certainty or let life surprise you."
"The only certainty is Death, and the only surprise is Life. Everything else falls in-between and it's up to you to decide weather you want to focus on certainty or let life surprise you."
Koh Samui
Well Matt, Brooke and I headed out to Koh Samui this weekend...it was a mixed trip. Absolutely beautiful I will attempt to get pictures up today. Now, the trip down was a little difficult. I won't bore you with the details but from the time we left our apartment until the time we got to our hotel it was about a 20 hour trip and we timed it to be about 8 1/2 hours drive. There was a lot of waiting during this trip. Matt and I didn't sleep the whole way down so when we arrived at the coast naturally we had a few beers (it was about 5:00 in the morning). But, thankfully we got there and our bungalows were right by the pool which is right next to the beach.
Again, Matt and I couldn't wait to get into the ocean so I prepared to do my customary run and jump. As I jogged out to the ocean I coldn't help but see Matt stop and look back at me...this is where my instincts kicked in and I realized something very very bad was about to happen. I put on the brakes only to find out that I was about 6 inches away from a giant rock under water. Our beach was littered with rocks and unfortunately the water wasn't so clear that you could see them. I didn't realize it at the time, but it turns out that that near miss was a huge blessing because I would have missed out on one of the coolest things I've ever done. But I am getting ahead of myself, as Matt and I gingerly made are way out to the deep Brooke called us in and was waving her arms. We rushed in as we saw what she was pointing at. IT WAS A FOOTBALL!! Granted it was rubber and oddly formed but it was red and white (excuse me scarlet and cream) so I had to buy it. I got the beach peadler down to 200 Baht from 500! So Matt and I were happy and played with the football for basically the rest of the trip. However, it did turn out to be very difficult with how slippery the ball is. That night we hung out at our place and drank off the bottles that we had brought and as they took their customary early old married couple exit I headed out to the beach and poured my boozed up thoughts into my journal.
I will have to admit that Friday was one of the best days I've had in a long time. We started out by deciding that Brooke would be our guide and we weren't going to pay someone to take us to this waterfall (we all know if Matt and I tried to get us there we would be in trouble). So we hopped a taxi to the road leading to the waterfall, of which, there are many pictures on facebook. Very Very Very steep and a lot of fun. Along the way there was a elephant excursion and so we took many many pictures of these SUV's of the jungle. There were signs pointing to the scenic view of the waterfall so naturally we took that road. It was definitely a path not for the faint of heart. It wasn't necessarily steep but there were slick spots and rocks where you had to be a little careful. However, I really do believe it would be worth the trek and I think anyone under the age of 65 could do it if they really wanted to. We get to the top and there is this little shop that we stopped at for a beer (not knowing what lie ahead of us). You'll see in those pictures the little hut was a little scary! Held together by little sticks it was pretty scary for our Fat American Behinds!! The bottom of the waterfall was beautiful but nothing necessarily to write home about. Then we saw a sign that said "to the top of the waterfall" and so we thought we'd check that out. This is where our trip took a unique turn. A guide was waiting about 100 yards up, took Brooke's hand and started up the mountain. And yes, when I say mountain we are talking a legit mountain in a legit jungle. Matt had a backpack on his back and I had a handbag in my hand with all of our beach toys in it. So he was hauling that up the mountain and I was climbing one handed. I wish I would have more pictures of the actual trip up and not just the reward of the view and swimming hole...however we couldn't really breathe at the moment so getting our cameras out was the last thing on our mind. Now I'm sitting here going up this mountain with an ex-special forces guy and a yoga instructor both of who work out religously. At one point, while I was in the middle of the two, I stopped and asked if I was the only one breathing hard, thankfully to my relief they both said they were breathing hard and this was a hell of a work out. I can't tell you the sense of accomplishment we felt once we got to the top and there was the heavenly cold swimming hole and mini waterfall that we spend at least a half hour at. After treking up on what they called a "trail" it was painfully obvious that not very many people can go up the way we did. Later we were to find out that there were many paths and our guide took us on the hardest one up and down, but I wouldn't have it any other way. It goes down as one of the top 10 things I've ever done.
As we made our way down we stopped for a well deserved beer at the little hut and headed back down the steep road to the main road. Luckily for us and are wobbly legs a man in a truck stopped and asked us if we wanted a ride for 300 Baht and we were happy to oblige. We went to a different beach that was miles away from ours (one that Brooke had been to on her last journey). No rocks, so a lot of football tossing, body surfing, and Matt and I making up stupid games in the water while Brooke lay on the beach. We decided to call it a day and head up to a bar for a drink where Matt bought the equivilant of a 5$ drink and I bought a $8 bottle (it was very small). The only reason I bring this up is because his little flowery drink was gone in a second and we made fun of him for the rest of the night as he helped me finish the bottle. We then cruised down the beach and looked at the seafood possibilities. What they do is take all of the days catch and display it out front on the beach with a bunch of ice surrounding it. Very cool, we kept going until we met this Italian guy who was a character! We sat down to a Shark, Baracudda, Squid, and crab platter which was amazing. Only to be followed up with some of the best spaghetti and pinapple curry I've ever had. At this time I'm one happy camper well with a waterfall trek and elephant sighting behind me, a few spirits, and some seafood I've never had. So we went for a walk to find a bar. Though it had stormed while we were eating there were still quite a few people out and Brooke was the expert so we went until we found a bar where we didn't think we would get hassled by katoi's or prostitutes. I wanted to get a few games of pool in so we went to this Irish pub that said it had pool but the upstairs was closed. We talked to the owner who let us up there and we basically had our own private upstairs of a bar and balcony. Again we snuk our our own booze in to bypass the outrageous prices. I should reiterate that, these prices our outrageous in Baht terms we are still only talking about 3$ for a 32o.z. beer that has more alc % as a Budweiser. After a few games of cut-throat we decided to find another bar. On our trip back we saw a giant lizard and a monkey on a guys arm. As we stumbled on they noticed my awe and the guy practically threw the monkey around my neck at which point I think I started to cry. Just another day in Koh Samui. We found ourselves at a bar with some burly soccer and rugby folks and me being me I went to talk to them. Apparently that wasn't a good idea because Matt told me we were leaving. Truth be told I thought things were going well but I don't think I would ever live it down if some wussy soccer players took me out! Right Adam!
We got home and I found myself on the beach spilling my thoughts out onto the journal once more.
We awoke to a day of laying on the beach and consuming as much water as possible. We knew we had a hell of a night in front of us. Some of you may have heard of the Full Moon Party that is legendary here! On the van ride over to the beach that we meet the ferry to take us to the island we talked to a group from Ireland and England. We had to wait about an hour until the ferry picked us up and as I talked to the Irish and English Matt and Brooke went off to sit down...me being the idiot I am thought they just wanted some alone time. Turns out Matt really really didn't feel good, in fact neither of them were able to go to the Full Moon Party. After I decided to wait it out and see if he got better they insisted that I go. Which, I regrettably did. I met up with Mo the English guy who helped me finish the bottle and we had a good time for the first few hours there but unfortunately Mo can't hold his alcohol very well and ended up almost falling into a fire. This is where we parted ways. Now, after seeing Mo's debacle, knowing that I was on my own over here, and having the warewithal to know myself I decided not to get Michaud drunk and to take it fairly easy. So I switched to beer...let me paint this picture for you: about a half mile of beach that is absolutely packed and every single person is either on a drug or at Mo's state of drunkeness. There are fire shows going on everywhere as well as fireworks. People are painted up in body paing and I'm proud to say I got 6 girls to paint either a stock of corn or a N on their body. Go 'Skers! At about 5:00 in the morning I was walking to the other end of the beach, which is still packed, at which time I did what I customarily do about every 15 minutes...check for my wallet which was gone! Yes, I was pickpocketed. I am trying not to get to down on it because there isn't a whole lot I can do about it now but it is a pain in the ass as you can imagine. Anyways, with no money and a half a beer in my hand I decided to call it an early night. Made it home around 6:30 or 7:00.
The rest of the trip and the past few days have involved trying to figure out how to live without a wallet, taking care of all of those precautions, and recovering from the weekend.
I find that there is no better way to clear your head then listening to the waves crash onto the sand. No cure-all like the moon illuminating a black ocean in the middle of the night. yes, I have a romantic interest in the beach life or at least the beach way of thinking. And again being me I had some incredible thoughts float into my head on that 3 hour ferry ride back to the coast...but looking at my pictures I think you will find how the scenery demands a sort of poetic thought in even the most stoic soul.
I realize this is a long one but hopefully it will get you through a few minutes of work!
Here's to you,
Michaud
Again, Matt and I couldn't wait to get into the ocean so I prepared to do my customary run and jump. As I jogged out to the ocean I coldn't help but see Matt stop and look back at me...this is where my instincts kicked in and I realized something very very bad was about to happen. I put on the brakes only to find out that I was about 6 inches away from a giant rock under water. Our beach was littered with rocks and unfortunately the water wasn't so clear that you could see them. I didn't realize it at the time, but it turns out that that near miss was a huge blessing because I would have missed out on one of the coolest things I've ever done. But I am getting ahead of myself, as Matt and I gingerly made are way out to the deep Brooke called us in and was waving her arms. We rushed in as we saw what she was pointing at. IT WAS A FOOTBALL!! Granted it was rubber and oddly formed but it was red and white (excuse me scarlet and cream) so I had to buy it. I got the beach peadler down to 200 Baht from 500! So Matt and I were happy and played with the football for basically the rest of the trip. However, it did turn out to be very difficult with how slippery the ball is. That night we hung out at our place and drank off the bottles that we had brought and as they took their customary early old married couple exit I headed out to the beach and poured my boozed up thoughts into my journal.
I will have to admit that Friday was one of the best days I've had in a long time. We started out by deciding that Brooke would be our guide and we weren't going to pay someone to take us to this waterfall (we all know if Matt and I tried to get us there we would be in trouble). So we hopped a taxi to the road leading to the waterfall, of which, there are many pictures on facebook. Very Very Very steep and a lot of fun. Along the way there was a elephant excursion and so we took many many pictures of these SUV's of the jungle. There were signs pointing to the scenic view of the waterfall so naturally we took that road. It was definitely a path not for the faint of heart. It wasn't necessarily steep but there were slick spots and rocks where you had to be a little careful. However, I really do believe it would be worth the trek and I think anyone under the age of 65 could do it if they really wanted to. We get to the top and there is this little shop that we stopped at for a beer (not knowing what lie ahead of us). You'll see in those pictures the little hut was a little scary! Held together by little sticks it was pretty scary for our Fat American Behinds!! The bottom of the waterfall was beautiful but nothing necessarily to write home about. Then we saw a sign that said "to the top of the waterfall" and so we thought we'd check that out. This is where our trip took a unique turn. A guide was waiting about 100 yards up, took Brooke's hand and started up the mountain. And yes, when I say mountain we are talking a legit mountain in a legit jungle. Matt had a backpack on his back and I had a handbag in my hand with all of our beach toys in it. So he was hauling that up the mountain and I was climbing one handed. I wish I would have more pictures of the actual trip up and not just the reward of the view and swimming hole...however we couldn't really breathe at the moment so getting our cameras out was the last thing on our mind. Now I'm sitting here going up this mountain with an ex-special forces guy and a yoga instructor both of who work out religously. At one point, while I was in the middle of the two, I stopped and asked if I was the only one breathing hard, thankfully to my relief they both said they were breathing hard and this was a hell of a work out. I can't tell you the sense of accomplishment we felt once we got to the top and there was the heavenly cold swimming hole and mini waterfall that we spend at least a half hour at. After treking up on what they called a "trail" it was painfully obvious that not very many people can go up the way we did. Later we were to find out that there were many paths and our guide took us on the hardest one up and down, but I wouldn't have it any other way. It goes down as one of the top 10 things I've ever done.
As we made our way down we stopped for a well deserved beer at the little hut and headed back down the steep road to the main road. Luckily for us and are wobbly legs a man in a truck stopped and asked us if we wanted a ride for 300 Baht and we were happy to oblige. We went to a different beach that was miles away from ours (one that Brooke had been to on her last journey). No rocks, so a lot of football tossing, body surfing, and Matt and I making up stupid games in the water while Brooke lay on the beach. We decided to call it a day and head up to a bar for a drink where Matt bought the equivilant of a 5$ drink and I bought a $8 bottle (it was very small). The only reason I bring this up is because his little flowery drink was gone in a second and we made fun of him for the rest of the night as he helped me finish the bottle. We then cruised down the beach and looked at the seafood possibilities. What they do is take all of the days catch and display it out front on the beach with a bunch of ice surrounding it. Very cool, we kept going until we met this Italian guy who was a character! We sat down to a Shark, Baracudda, Squid, and crab platter which was amazing. Only to be followed up with some of the best spaghetti and pinapple curry I've ever had. At this time I'm one happy camper well with a waterfall trek and elephant sighting behind me, a few spirits, and some seafood I've never had. So we went for a walk to find a bar. Though it had stormed while we were eating there were still quite a few people out and Brooke was the expert so we went until we found a bar where we didn't think we would get hassled by katoi's or prostitutes. I wanted to get a few games of pool in so we went to this Irish pub that said it had pool but the upstairs was closed. We talked to the owner who let us up there and we basically had our own private upstairs of a bar and balcony. Again we snuk our our own booze in to bypass the outrageous prices. I should reiterate that, these prices our outrageous in Baht terms we are still only talking about 3$ for a 32o.z. beer that has more alc % as a Budweiser. After a few games of cut-throat we decided to find another bar. On our trip back we saw a giant lizard and a monkey on a guys arm. As we stumbled on they noticed my awe and the guy practically threw the monkey around my neck at which point I think I started to cry. Just another day in Koh Samui. We found ourselves at a bar with some burly soccer and rugby folks and me being me I went to talk to them. Apparently that wasn't a good idea because Matt told me we were leaving. Truth be told I thought things were going well but I don't think I would ever live it down if some wussy soccer players took me out! Right Adam!
We got home and I found myself on the beach spilling my thoughts out onto the journal once more.
We awoke to a day of laying on the beach and consuming as much water as possible. We knew we had a hell of a night in front of us. Some of you may have heard of the Full Moon Party that is legendary here! On the van ride over to the beach that we meet the ferry to take us to the island we talked to a group from Ireland and England. We had to wait about an hour until the ferry picked us up and as I talked to the Irish and English Matt and Brooke went off to sit down...me being the idiot I am thought they just wanted some alone time. Turns out Matt really really didn't feel good, in fact neither of them were able to go to the Full Moon Party. After I decided to wait it out and see if he got better they insisted that I go. Which, I regrettably did. I met up with Mo the English guy who helped me finish the bottle and we had a good time for the first few hours there but unfortunately Mo can't hold his alcohol very well and ended up almost falling into a fire. This is where we parted ways. Now, after seeing Mo's debacle, knowing that I was on my own over here, and having the warewithal to know myself I decided not to get Michaud drunk and to take it fairly easy. So I switched to beer...let me paint this picture for you: about a half mile of beach that is absolutely packed and every single person is either on a drug or at Mo's state of drunkeness. There are fire shows going on everywhere as well as fireworks. People are painted up in body paing and I'm proud to say I got 6 girls to paint either a stock of corn or a N on their body. Go 'Skers! At about 5:00 in the morning I was walking to the other end of the beach, which is still packed, at which time I did what I customarily do about every 15 minutes...check for my wallet which was gone! Yes, I was pickpocketed. I am trying not to get to down on it because there isn't a whole lot I can do about it now but it is a pain in the ass as you can imagine. Anyways, with no money and a half a beer in my hand I decided to call it an early night. Made it home around 6:30 or 7:00.
The rest of the trip and the past few days have involved trying to figure out how to live without a wallet, taking care of all of those precautions, and recovering from the weekend.
I find that there is no better way to clear your head then listening to the waves crash onto the sand. No cure-all like the moon illuminating a black ocean in the middle of the night. yes, I have a romantic interest in the beach life or at least the beach way of thinking. And again being me I had some incredible thoughts float into my head on that 3 hour ferry ride back to the coast...but looking at my pictures I think you will find how the scenery demands a sort of poetic thought in even the most stoic soul.
I realize this is a long one but hopefully it will get you through a few minutes of work!
Here's to you,
Michaud
Monday, July 14, 2008
John Allen
Okay last one, sorry...I've become a fan of his...this is an excerpt from "Swallow's Song"
"...Sing your song sweet swallow
I know your heart's been pierced by indecision's cruel arrow
You're always Leading never do you follow
Please, do not waiver do not wallow
I am here to take away your sorrow
The bleeding wound I will mend
No limit on the time I will spend
It is your soul I do defend
With great love and care
No stone or log I will spare
To find your smile again
To put the wind back in your sail
Sing your song sweet swallow
Without it this world is hallow..."
"...Sing your song sweet swallow
I know your heart's been pierced by indecision's cruel arrow
You're always Leading never do you follow
Please, do not waiver do not wallow
I am here to take away your sorrow
The bleeding wound I will mend
No limit on the time I will spend
It is your soul I do defend
With great love and care
No stone or log I will spare
To find your smile again
To put the wind back in your sail
Sing your song sweet swallow
Without it this world is hallow..."
Brian L. Weiss
"...Wisdom is achieved very slowly. This is because intellectual knowledge, easily acquired, must be transformed into 'emotional,' or subconscious, knowledge. Once transformed, the imprint is permanent. Behavioral practice is the necessary catalyst of this reaction. Without action, the concept will wither and fade. Theoretical knowledge without practical application is not enough..."
Excerpt from "Many Lives, Many Masters"
Excerpt from "Many Lives, Many Masters"
John Allen
I am Fanatically Fractured
Permanently Put Together
I am Stained with Disdain
And Immersed with Content
I am Starved for Food, Knowledge, and Care
I am Them, I am You, I am Rare
Permanently Put Together
I am Stained with Disdain
And Immersed with Content
I am Starved for Food, Knowledge, and Care
I am Them, I am You, I am Rare
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Simply Settling
So much to blog so little time. I know I've e-mailed a couple of you some "interesting" e-mails about some deep thoughts. Truth be told, I was sitting in a coffee shop talking with Brooke who I'm almost completely convinced is my Muse. She definitely empowers me, pair that with some tough love one drunken night with Matt and Brooke a new outlook has emerged. I read the book "Many Lives, Many Masters" by Brian L. Weiss. For those of you with an open mind I don't think I could recommend a better book. It creates a timeline of your life that is unique and liberating. I use the word liberating because the more I am here and this new view of time that I am slowly learning to understand is...liberating. It allows life to be a venue for you to be yourself, whoever that may be, instead of life being the beginning middle and end. Instead of conforming and worrying about others views of you, you're free. However, another huge variable in this equation is the friend factor. If you don't have a core group of people that will love you no matter what you say or do, no matter if you're up on a table dancing, in a coffee shop sipping on a drink that you can't spell, or getting shot down by the prettiest girl in the bar. The unfortunate truth is that this has all been said, written about, and preached multiple multiple times. And, a lot of people pretend that they've had this view of life and completely understand what I'm saying. That's fine, but the proof is in the pudding (we've been hanging out with older people).
Speaking of which, Matt and I were thrown into probably the gayest situation we've ever encountered. (second gayest for me, I'm still never setting foot in Wyoming). We went to a fundraiser at Brenda and Daniel's and it was a sing-a-long. Unfortunately I didn't know any of the songs except Moon River and I think that was because of my grandparents. The proceeds went to Mercy House an orphanage Brenda and Daniel are involved with. It was fun and we had a great time but to put it in perspective there might have been 4 blue shirts in the crowd and the other 60 people were wearing pink. I think Matt and I did okay and didn't embarrass ourselves too bad, but we'll see. Brooke was in her element working the room like a pro! We learned about a dance class we could take, cooking classes, and heard some great stories about the Katoi's (Ka-toy-i's) lady boys. I bring this up because in Nebraska this lifestyle isn't as accepted, yet here it's just another way of life. But it's not a strain to say that Bangkok and Lincoln may be a little different.
I was also lucky enough to have lunch with Ali (successful Thai business woman), Kim and Siarra two exceptional writers, but more then that two of the most selfless people I've met. In fact they were nice enough to get me in touch with Ali who knows an ex-monk that runs an orphanage in town. I will hopefully be going on Wednesday to meet with ToTo or Tanto I can't remember his name. Kim and Siarra are currently traveling around the world to find a place to call home base. Unfortunately they are leaving Bangkok shortly but I will claw and fight to get their e-mail addresses to stay in contact with them. Extremely funny, generous, and some stories that you wouldn't believe. I think it's safe to say that my teaching career will never lead me to Dublin in the school Siarra taught at, her stories of teaching beat my one awkward stance in front of Thai sophomores.
Settling...something I've thought about for years and even more so now. As I said before I feel much more empowered now. I have a sense of pride not only in myself but in friends and family as well. I've recieved a few e-mails that implied that I had inspired them to do, write, or say things they didn't think they could. As a friend or family member I can honestly say that this talent or this grandoise idea was there long before now. The only thing I did was break the norm, break the "Nebraska Cycle". I'd like to think that I helped people to take that leap into the unknown. If you think about it that's the only reason we are afraid to do things that we want to do. We don't tell friends and family members our fears and ambitions due to the fact we don't know how they will react. We don't leave jobs and travel across the world away from family and friends because we don't know if we'll hack it, we don't know if we'll be okay once we get back. We don't go meet strangers for the simple fact that we are afraid they won't like us. But why settle? Why be okay with comfort? Be uncomfortable, put yourself out there! If you have that core group of friends, if you can only see that this time we have is our time and nobody else's. If you can see that perhaps those fluttering thoughts in the back of your head are encouraging you to do something don't stomp them out. There may be a lesson in their flight path, a previous debt to be paid, or a talent yet to be explored. I believe our problems lie in the fact that we never believe we deserve any better, we never believe we deserve happiness. Or that this happiness we have is as good as it gets. I'm no smarter then I was when I left, no more insightful, and no I'm not on drugs. But I have made the conscious decision not to settle for anything...I believe I owe that to myself, to my parents, to my brother, and to you. I believe this will be a tough path to follow: ruts and stumps, windy ridges, and a beast around every bend. But I never want to wake up someday and say, "Could I have done more with my life?" Meeting people like Kim and Siarra and knowing Brooke and Matt just shows me how much more is out there and how many more stories are to be told.
As I said I am in a unique spot right now hence the unique perspectives. As they say "changes in lattitudes changes in attitudes". Wednesday I have an important meeting and then Thursday Matt, Brooke and I are off to Koh Chang island...2nd biggest island in Thailand. I'll keep you updated and you keep the e-mails coming!
Here's to you,
~Nebraska
Speaking of which, Matt and I were thrown into probably the gayest situation we've ever encountered. (second gayest for me, I'm still never setting foot in Wyoming). We went to a fundraiser at Brenda and Daniel's and it was a sing-a-long. Unfortunately I didn't know any of the songs except Moon River and I think that was because of my grandparents. The proceeds went to Mercy House an orphanage Brenda and Daniel are involved with. It was fun and we had a great time but to put it in perspective there might have been 4 blue shirts in the crowd and the other 60 people were wearing pink. I think Matt and I did okay and didn't embarrass ourselves too bad, but we'll see. Brooke was in her element working the room like a pro! We learned about a dance class we could take, cooking classes, and heard some great stories about the Katoi's (Ka-toy-i's) lady boys. I bring this up because in Nebraska this lifestyle isn't as accepted, yet here it's just another way of life. But it's not a strain to say that Bangkok and Lincoln may be a little different.
I was also lucky enough to have lunch with Ali (successful Thai business woman), Kim and Siarra two exceptional writers, but more then that two of the most selfless people I've met. In fact they were nice enough to get me in touch with Ali who knows an ex-monk that runs an orphanage in town. I will hopefully be going on Wednesday to meet with ToTo or Tanto I can't remember his name. Kim and Siarra are currently traveling around the world to find a place to call home base. Unfortunately they are leaving Bangkok shortly but I will claw and fight to get their e-mail addresses to stay in contact with them. Extremely funny, generous, and some stories that you wouldn't believe. I think it's safe to say that my teaching career will never lead me to Dublin in the school Siarra taught at, her stories of teaching beat my one awkward stance in front of Thai sophomores.
Settling...something I've thought about for years and even more so now. As I said before I feel much more empowered now. I have a sense of pride not only in myself but in friends and family as well. I've recieved a few e-mails that implied that I had inspired them to do, write, or say things they didn't think they could. As a friend or family member I can honestly say that this talent or this grandoise idea was there long before now. The only thing I did was break the norm, break the "Nebraska Cycle". I'd like to think that I helped people to take that leap into the unknown. If you think about it that's the only reason we are afraid to do things that we want to do. We don't tell friends and family members our fears and ambitions due to the fact we don't know how they will react. We don't leave jobs and travel across the world away from family and friends because we don't know if we'll hack it, we don't know if we'll be okay once we get back. We don't go meet strangers for the simple fact that we are afraid they won't like us. But why settle? Why be okay with comfort? Be uncomfortable, put yourself out there! If you have that core group of friends, if you can only see that this time we have is our time and nobody else's. If you can see that perhaps those fluttering thoughts in the back of your head are encouraging you to do something don't stomp them out. There may be a lesson in their flight path, a previous debt to be paid, or a talent yet to be explored. I believe our problems lie in the fact that we never believe we deserve any better, we never believe we deserve happiness. Or that this happiness we have is as good as it gets. I'm no smarter then I was when I left, no more insightful, and no I'm not on drugs. But I have made the conscious decision not to settle for anything...I believe I owe that to myself, to my parents, to my brother, and to you. I believe this will be a tough path to follow: ruts and stumps, windy ridges, and a beast around every bend. But I never want to wake up someday and say, "Could I have done more with my life?" Meeting people like Kim and Siarra and knowing Brooke and Matt just shows me how much more is out there and how many more stories are to be told.
As I said I am in a unique spot right now hence the unique perspectives. As they say "changes in lattitudes changes in attitudes". Wednesday I have an important meeting and then Thursday Matt, Brooke and I are off to Koh Chang island...2nd biggest island in Thailand. I'll keep you updated and you keep the e-mails coming!
Here's to you,
~Nebraska
Friday, July 4, 2008
The Declaration of Independence July 4, 1776
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
Idiotic, Intense, and Ironic
First off the visa run went fairly smoothly, it took from about 6:30a.m.-8:30p.m. but that's the price you pay I guess. We went out to Cambodia on a nice bus watched some movies, listened to music, and wrote in my book. As I was crossing the border (you don't have to do this but I figured if I made it this far I want to cross). Not a whole lot on that border town except it seemed like the Cambodians were a lot smaller then the Thais. Coming back across the border kids kept asking for Baht "1 Baht, 2 Baht" and didn't think a whole lot about it. Well, a kid behind me gave them a Baht and the child jumped off the bridge!! We are talking about an easy 40 foot fall down into the brownest water I've ever seen in my life. But apparently instead of just begging these kids jump off bridges for their money. This may sound insensitive but I actually think that you do what you have to do to survive and these kids have found a niche...
That night I was dead tired and walking back to the apartment and Matt and Brooke were walking out. They said they were going to have a few beers with his classmates so very reluctantly I went with them :)
We went to a place they normally go where you sit on the floor, not easy for me! I talked to a person working in Burma (not Burmese) and strangely enough actually got recruited to go work in Burma as well. At least that's what it sounded like...in reality he is part of the pro-democracy group that is there. They print fliers, teach classes, and spread as much awarness as they can about Human Rights. It was very interesting and a little more cladestine then I'm used to. (Don't worry mom I'm not going over there anytime soon). After a few "towers" of beers we decided to check out this new joint that is called Vintage. We walk in, and they offered us front row seats, well none of us knew what that meant because we thought it was just a bar. Low and behold a metal rock band comes out and starts jamming away. As much as I tried I couldn't help it and 3 songs into their set I yelled "Play some Journey Man". Yes, I'm sorry to all of you for that! I made friends with the lead singer and he said as long as we (about 8 of us) keep coming back they will learn an english song for us. Matt and I will undoubtedly get up there and rock out with them. You haven't been to a concert until you've sat front row at a Thai metal concert, drinking 100 Pipers and water.
Now for the real interesting part. I'm sitting here typing this blog at a computer lab in one of the most prestegious high school's in Southeast Asia. Don't believe me? Tomorrow, the Prime Minister of Thailand is visiting this school! So, how did I end up here? The girls from Loyola that I met in Koh Samed work here and told me to come visit and sit in on some of their classes since I'm so into working with kids. Granted, these kids get dropped off my limos and some of them actually own their own resorts (another story for another time). As I get to this school after 5 hours of sleep, hungover, and a long long walk after the bus dropped me off at the wrong place I met with the head teacher. Little did I know that I was interviewing for a job today. Luckily I had worn my suit, without the jacket. I talked to her, then filled out an application and sat in front of their board members trying to fill up 30 minutes for the only question they asked "tell us about yourself". After this they took me up to a very cute teacher and introduced me. I was then informed that I needed to teach a class of 60 Thai boys about Standard Deviation...and yes, the class starts in 30 minutes. That's right...MATH! I assume if you are reading this you know that Math is Adam's thing NOT MINE!! Math is easily my worst subject and they wanted me to teach this to 10th graders. Not even little kids!! And to top it off I had 30 minutes to put a lesson plan together on something I'm sure I cheated on throughout high school. Let me tell you something...I A-B-S-O-L-U-T-E-L-Y BOMBED IT!!! They all stood up and in unision said hi to me, welcomed me, and kept standing and starring at me. Again me being the idiot I am didn't realize they were doing this to me and I thought they were doing it to the other 6 teachers in the room that were evaluating me. So I stood there like an idiot for about 10 seconds and managed to mutter p.p.please sit down? More of a question then a command. After the beginning jitters I started to get going and talked about myself and my background as much as possible so I didn't have to talk about Math. Now all of this is after three of the Math teachers told me I was cute and asked me out to lunch. Don't get me wrong I"m not bragging it's just that I kind of had a lot on my plate at the time and that just made me even more flustered!! I eventually got through it all and ended nervously but proud that I finished. I thought if nothing else the folks back home won't believe that I taught a Math class.
I'm going out with all of these teachers for the 4th of July...I hope all of you are having a great time and a great 4th! Drink one for me!
Here's to you,
Nebraska
That night I was dead tired and walking back to the apartment and Matt and Brooke were walking out. They said they were going to have a few beers with his classmates so very reluctantly I went with them :)
We went to a place they normally go where you sit on the floor, not easy for me! I talked to a person working in Burma (not Burmese) and strangely enough actually got recruited to go work in Burma as well. At least that's what it sounded like...in reality he is part of the pro-democracy group that is there. They print fliers, teach classes, and spread as much awarness as they can about Human Rights. It was very interesting and a little more cladestine then I'm used to. (Don't worry mom I'm not going over there anytime soon). After a few "towers" of beers we decided to check out this new joint that is called Vintage. We walk in, and they offered us front row seats, well none of us knew what that meant because we thought it was just a bar. Low and behold a metal rock band comes out and starts jamming away. As much as I tried I couldn't help it and 3 songs into their set I yelled "Play some Journey Man". Yes, I'm sorry to all of you for that! I made friends with the lead singer and he said as long as we (about 8 of us) keep coming back they will learn an english song for us. Matt and I will undoubtedly get up there and rock out with them. You haven't been to a concert until you've sat front row at a Thai metal concert, drinking 100 Pipers and water.
Now for the real interesting part. I'm sitting here typing this blog at a computer lab in one of the most prestegious high school's in Southeast Asia. Don't believe me? Tomorrow, the Prime Minister of Thailand is visiting this school! So, how did I end up here? The girls from Loyola that I met in Koh Samed work here and told me to come visit and sit in on some of their classes since I'm so into working with kids. Granted, these kids get dropped off my limos and some of them actually own their own resorts (another story for another time). As I get to this school after 5 hours of sleep, hungover, and a long long walk after the bus dropped me off at the wrong place I met with the head teacher. Little did I know that I was interviewing for a job today. Luckily I had worn my suit, without the jacket. I talked to her, then filled out an application and sat in front of their board members trying to fill up 30 minutes for the only question they asked "tell us about yourself". After this they took me up to a very cute teacher and introduced me. I was then informed that I needed to teach a class of 60 Thai boys about Standard Deviation...and yes, the class starts in 30 minutes. That's right...MATH! I assume if you are reading this you know that Math is Adam's thing NOT MINE!! Math is easily my worst subject and they wanted me to teach this to 10th graders. Not even little kids!! And to top it off I had 30 minutes to put a lesson plan together on something I'm sure I cheated on throughout high school. Let me tell you something...I A-B-S-O-L-U-T-E-L-Y BOMBED IT!!! They all stood up and in unision said hi to me, welcomed me, and kept standing and starring at me. Again me being the idiot I am didn't realize they were doing this to me and I thought they were doing it to the other 6 teachers in the room that were evaluating me. So I stood there like an idiot for about 10 seconds and managed to mutter p.p.please sit down? More of a question then a command. After the beginning jitters I started to get going and talked about myself and my background as much as possible so I didn't have to talk about Math. Now all of this is after three of the Math teachers told me I was cute and asked me out to lunch. Don't get me wrong I"m not bragging it's just that I kind of had a lot on my plate at the time and that just made me even more flustered!! I eventually got through it all and ended nervously but proud that I finished. I thought if nothing else the folks back home won't believe that I taught a Math class.
I'm going out with all of these teachers for the 4th of July...I hope all of you are having a great time and a great 4th! Drink one for me!
Here's to you,
Nebraska
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